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GParlov
Special guest star
2246 Posts
Member since 06/11/2002 |
 Posted - 13/11/2002 : 04:38:40
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Evo...radio sam sa podosta razlicitih scenarista i susreo se sa zaista razlicitim stilovima pisanja i izgledom scenarija.Od vrlo esencijalnih (Nizzi,Gino D'Antonio) koji ne gnjave podrobnim opisima i ostavljaju autoru prilicnu slobodu ...do stvarno raspisanih koji mi,povrh detaljnog opisa slike, objasnjavaju cak i kako se lik u kadru osjeca te kakva atmosfera treba disati iz slike (Jamie Delano:Outlaw Nation).Osobno volim kratke opise...ali volim i znati u kojem se stanju duha lik u kadru nalazi.Tako znam bolje koju mu gestikulaciju nakeljiti.
No ...necu vise tu trkeljati u prazno ,nego cu eventualno odgovarati na vasa konkretna pitanja,ako ih imate.A tu vam prilazem prve dvije stranice scenarija sedamnaeste epizode serijala "Outlaw Nation" koju sam radio zajedno sa Goranom Sudzukom za "DC Vertigo".Autor: Jamie Delano
(Izabrao sam taj jer je na engleskom i jedini kojeg imam u elektronskom obliku.)
OUTLAW NATION
BOOK SEVENTEEN
"WEIRD SKY"
SCENE ONE
Dawn. LOLA'S HOUSE. The scene continues the closing sequence of #16.
LOLA and MARTIN have stepped out of the house, armed and weirdly fired up to "die in a blaze of glory" at the hands of the besieging federal agents.
Meanwhile, in ASA'S PENTHOUSE, ASA is playing Russian roulette with a six-gun held to DOLORES' head.
PAGE ONE
1:1
We take JENNY'S perspective, looking out from just inside the open door of the house, at MARTIN and LOLA as they face up to the federal agents. Beyond the (closed) gate of the compound, we can see the bulk of the feds' armored vehicle poised, looming over them. Other SWAT agents aim rifles at the "suicidal" kids from a number of vantage points… silently waiting for an order to fire.
MARTIN : SO, COME ON. DO IT!
LOLA : YEAH…
1:1A
Maybe a small (round) inset on panel 1:1. Close on the cocked hammer of ASA'S SIX-GUN.
SILENT
1:2
BIG PHIL (Lola's dad) has arrived back from Maui, or Colombia, or wherever he's been, to find his house under siege. He is currently standing by the taxi that has brought him from the airport, on the access road above the house, using a pair of binoculars to look down at the action around his home. Maybe a local Phoenix PD police car blocks temporarily blocks any further progress towards the house.
We can't see any of that in this shot, though, as we take BIG PHIL'S POV through the binoculars. The view focuses on LOLA and MARTIN, with glimpse of Feds on the armored vehicle in the f/g, maybe.
LOLA : TIME'S UP, HUMPS.
1:2A
Second inset shows close-up of ASA'S claw-finger squeezing the six-gun trigger past the firing point. Maybe we also glimpse gun muzzle nudged up under DOLORES' EAR.
SILENT
1:3
Mid-close angled downshot gives us BIG PHIL'S location in the f/g. PHIL stands by the open passenger door of the cab - driver inside - and is lowering the binoculars, free hand scratching at the top of his head, frowning in baffled dismay. Not sure if we can see LOLA & Co. in the b/g, or if we just hear her from off.
We have established BIG PHIL'S physical appearance (in earlier photo shot). PHIL is a tough-guy, an unapologetic mercenary, self-confident, uncompromising, self-interested, politically secure. Maybe it is this appearance of strength and self-confidence that JENNY finds a turn on.
BIG PHIL is dressed as a "middle-American tourist", just back from a golfing vacation.
LOLA : SHOOT OR PULL OUT, NOW!
BIG PHIL : AH, FUCK, LOLA.
1:3A
Third inset is maybe ASA'S POV. We see the hammer of the six-gun fall, looking on down the barrel to the blonde head of terrified LOLA kneeling at our feet.
SFX : KLIKK!
SCENE TWO
ASA'S PENTHOUSE. Interior. Asa's central screen shows images from the siege as we open.
DOLORES' terror quickly transforms to coldly vehement anger. ASA still wears his cowboy hat, I guess.
PAGE TWO
2:1
ASA has lifted the six-gun from DOLORES' head. He scowls at it, bitter disappointment evident on his face. DOLORES is still on her knees, pale and sweaty, retching and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, as she wills her trembling muscles to lift her body upright.
DOLORES : GACH!
ASA : DAMN.
ASA : LOOKS LIKE STORY DUCKED THE PAYOFF AND, THE DEVIL KID GETS A WALK.
2:2
DOLORES is shakily on her feet, looking up at the screen showing siege-scene, reaching for some kind of mini-keypad device, tiniest smile of satisfaction at the corner of her mouth. ASA looks down, hat-brim shadowing his face, vertical pistol barrel scratching his forehead.
ASA : STAND DOWN THE AGENTS, NURSE.
DOLORES : YES, SIR. I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO DISAPPOINTED.
2:3
DOLORES taps keys on the keypad - maybe the words "MISSION ABORTED" begin to appear on the screen over the siege image. Behind her, ASA looks up with an ugly smirk, and making the mistake of pointing the gun in her direction again.
ASA : BITTERLY. BUT LIFE GOES ON.
ASA : AND NURSE.
ASA : I'M SORRY IF I PLAYED A LITTLE ROUGH, BUT YOU WERE KIND OF BEGGING FOR IT.
2:4
The screen image dissolves. DOLORES turns back to ASA. She steps close. She smiles, but without a hint of warmth in her eyes. She closes one hand around the barrel of the pistol, and with the other reaches to take the cowboy hat from the old man's head. ASA'S eyes glitter up at her. He's having a lot of fun with DOLORES. He hasn't felt this alive in years. She's bringing out the bad in him; and he's into the way that feels.
DOLORES : OH DON'T APOLOGISE, SIR. NOTHING LIKE THE THREAT OF SUDDEN DEATH TO WARM THINGS UP FOR A GIRL.
ASA : REALLY.
ASA : WE MUST GAMBLE AGAIN, SOMETIME.
2:5
DOLORES cold smile widens as he steps back again, taking the gun from ASA's hand, planting his hat on her own head - leaving him suddenly bald and a little uncertain.
DOLORES : SURE. WHY NOT RIGHT NOW?
DOLORES : SAME STAKES. SAME THRILLING ODDS…
SCENE THREE
LOLA'S HOUSE. Dawn. The feds pull out and BIG PHIL rolls in.
Edited by - GParlov on 13/11/2002 04:41:22
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GParlov
Special guest star
2246 Posts
Member since 06/11/2002 |
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Witchblade
Senior Member
Croatia
2754 Posts
Member since 22/07/2002 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 10:05:13
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Kad te Markos dohvati, bome ceš vidjeti zvjezdice (i neceš više biti zelen nego plav)    
"These memories, too, are bound to die
So our dreams will have to serve us
Tomorrow may be the day that our love betrays us" |
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Markos
Webmaster
Croatia
29730 Posts
Member since 27/08/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 10:34:56
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quote:
Ej,Webmaster!Hocu i ja koju zvijezdicu!Recimo...neku zelenu.
Kao ono...Tek sam stigao,pa sam jos sav zelen! ):-(
Bravo Gorane, lijepo od tebe sto si poslao scenarij. Ja sam mislio da ti se nece dati .
Zvjezdicu? Hm, bojim se da ti je ne mogu dati, cak ni tebi:-), jer ne ovisi o meni. Mogu te recimo preimenovati iz Starting Membera u "Special guest star" ako hoces a zvjezdicu ces dobiti kad predjes 50 postova, kao i ostali.
Kicking Squeeling Gucci Little Piggy |
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Tomek
Advanced Member
Croatia
3857 Posts
Member since 16/03/2002 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 11:17:17
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quote:
Ej,Webmaster!Hocu i ja koju zvijezdicu!Recimo...neku zelenu.
Kao ono...Tek sam stigao,pa sam jos sav zelen! ):-(
znaš proceduru...
Život je osuda na smrt. |
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hamza
New Member
USA
251 Posts
Member since 15/06/2002 |
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GParlov
Special guest star
2246 Posts
Member since 06/11/2002 |
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
.jpg)
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:11:30
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E nece moci ove noci:-))))))
Vidi ti njega. Nema protekcija jazavac jedan:-)))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:12:15
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Ipak hvala sa scenario, bas si prava lafcina:-)))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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seinfeld
Advanced Member
16500 Posts
Member since 04/11/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:13:14
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Evo ti jednog hinta idi u test forum napisi 50 poruka tipa aaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaa i voila zvjezdica!;-))
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:18:12
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Bez varanja molim:-)))))
Neki su vrlo neozbiljni na ovom forumu i sigurno imaju zao pogled:-))))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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seinfeld
Advanced Member
16500 Posts
Member since 04/11/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:36:02
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Dobro moze i nesto u stilu hmmmmmm
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 17:43:32
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Seinfeld badava si stavio te naocale, tako neces prikriti svoj zao pogled:-))))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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seinfeld
Advanced Member
16500 Posts
Member since 04/11/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 18:09:38
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Znam to.I'm a badass motherfucker :-)).
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 18:18:12
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Eto vidis citam te ko` knjigu:-)))))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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seinfeld
Advanced Member
16500 Posts
Member since 04/11/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 18:20:15
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Ova nasa konverzacija pocinje sve vise liciti na scenario :-)!
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 18:25:04
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Eto tu nam je Goran sa svojim izrazito zlim pogledom pa mozda jednog dana i nesto zaista zlo i nacrta:-))))))
Onda Gorane?
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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desperado
Average Member
802 Posts
Member since 25/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 19:02:44
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eto bez da procitam sta je GParlov napisao, ja ga prije svega iskreno pozdravljam... dragomije sto je medzu nama.
pozdrav!
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 19:04:01
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:-)))))))))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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mephisto_III
Senior Member
Germany
2168 Posts
Member since 24/07/2002 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 19:12:40
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Volio bih znati dali GParlov ima kakvu kolekciju i koje strip junake obozava?!
I ja sam bio mlad kao i ti - možda i mladi. |
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Emir Pasanovic
stripovi.com suradnik
Bosnia and Herzegovina
6222 Posts
Member since 10/06/2002 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 22:51:15
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Posto sam ja taj koji je zamolio g. Parlova da nam napie ovdje taj scenarij prihvatam sve pohvale
Nisam ga jos imao vremena procitati, pa cu komentare i pitanja ostaviti za kasnije. Hvala u svakom slucaju...
Zagor Fan |
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dinotuf
New Member
Sweden
267 Posts
Member since 15/08/2002 |
Posted - 13/11/2002 : 22:58:00
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quote:
Posto sam ja taj koji je zamolio g. Parlova da nam napie ovdje taj scenarij prihvatam sve pohvale
Nisam ga jos imao vremena procitati, pa cu komentare i pitanja ostaviti za kasnije. Hvala u svakom slucaju...
Zagor Fan
Pa HVALA Zagor Fan:e ! Svaka cast, puno inicijative ima u tebi, prvo Batman, pa ovo, nema sumnje trebao bi postati staffovac.
keep up the good job
You can't even remember what i'm trying to forget |
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Tomek
Advanced Member
Croatia
3857 Posts
Member since 16/03/2002 |
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Darkwood Devil
stripovi.com kum
Croatia
8299 Posts
Member since 20/10/2001 |
Posted - 14/11/2002 : 13:20:07
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Hmmm pa ni ti se bas ne stedis:-))))
"RASTE KAO NADA, KAO MORE, KAO BOR, KAO POKRET, KAO ZORA, KAO DETE, KAO KRV, KAO ŽELJA MEÐU NAMA, RASTE KAO BOL I GRIZE SVE PRED NAŠIM OCIMA..." |
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Emir Pasanovic
stripovi.com suradnik
Bosnia and Herzegovina
6222 Posts
Member since 10/06/2002 |
Posted - 15/11/2002 : 01:23:58
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Pitanja:
1. Prvo malo prijevoda rijeci i izraza sa engleskog: POV, f/g – pretpostavljam da je fore ground, ali da provjerim, Mid Close angled downshot?
2. Ako budete imali vremena, samo kratko objasnjenje ovih pojmova, tj. sta trebaju da predstavljaju na papiru.
Ovo su pitanja da imam neku viziju slike pred ocima, jer ovaj americki slang mi ne lezi bas najbolje. Eh kad bih nasao neku knjigu naziva nesto kao ‘Kako napisati scenario za strip i voljeti to sto ste napisali’ (ovako nekako amerikanci cesto daju imena knjigama tipa uradi sam, zar ne?) ne bih mucio ni vas na forumu ni gospodina Parlova.
Zagor Fan |
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GParlov
Special guest star
2246 Posts
Member since 06/11/2002 |
Posted - 15/11/2002 : 10:20:28
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quote:
Pitanja:
1. Prvo malo prijevoda rijeci i izraza sa engleskog: POV, f/g – pretpostavljam da je fore ground, ali da provjerim, Mid Close angled downshot?
2. Ako budete imali vremena, samo kratko objasnjenje ovih pojmova, tj. sta trebaju da predstavljaju na papiru.
Zagor Fan
POV: POINT OF VIEW -tocka gledanja
(Jenny's POV: ono sto Jenny vidi ispred sebe)
F/G:prednji plan
B/G:u pozadini
Mid Close angled downshot:ah...to bi bio nekakav srednji plan "pucan" od gore prema dolje
U svakom slucaju,radi se o dosta kompliciranom nacinu pisanja scenarija.
Ja bih mogao staviti i koju stranicu "Texa" ili "MV" koji su puuno jednostavniji...ali ne znam ima li to smisla s obzirom da su na talijanskom?Tebi bi to pomoglo?
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